Being Stuck + The Decision To Do Something About It

Ugh, yo.

I’ve been hit with a mess of crap over the last year and a half. As everything starts to settle, something else happens. The highs and lows of life man. Brutal.

As things start to (hopefully) settle for me again and I sort through all the things, I’ve started to notice that I feel kind of…off. I’ve been struggling a bit with my gloomy-moods. The approach I’ve been taking is to just let them pass, and then wait for the next one. It’s worked alright for a while.. the whole “fake it until you make it” approach. But let me get real… I’m kind of tired of constantly waiting for the next wave to hit without making any forward progress.

It’s like…treading water, almost.

While some aspects of my life are precisely how I want them, others are just…off, somehow. I don’t know.

But I do know that I feel not good more often than I feel good.

That’s all I really intended to say. I’ve had this post basically saved in drafts for a few weeks. I just couldn’t work up the energy to post it. It’s been like THAT. I probably also didn’t want to fess up to the fact that maybe everything isn’t okay. I mean… it’s fine. But not great. I’m used to not being great, so it’s nothing new. I don’t mean that to sound so emotional and negative, I’m just used to being kind of base-line content. Not joyful. Not overwhelmingly happy. Just…meh. Fine.

The one thing I’ve become really good at is getting stuck. It’s great that I can recognize that I’m stuck in place right now. It’s cool to be in a holding pattern. I know that. But it’s not so good that I’ve just come to accept it and not DO anything about it.


To know me is to know the following:

  • I love food. Especially pancakes. And steak. And cheese. And carbs. Just food, really. If it goes into my mouth, I heart it.
  • I don’t like working out, I only do it because I like to eat.
  • I don’t care about numbers on a scale, so long as I feel good.
  • I won’t write something unless I mean it.

For the last few months, I’ve been quietly stalking some friends and internet people who are eating clean and saying they feel “So great!” I find it hard to beleive that eating differently can make a difference in your life. I feel really, REALLY happy after eating a big-booty plate of pancakes. I mean, have you SEEN me eat pancakes? Bliss. I don’t think that’s clean eating. But it’s good eating.


I’m doing to most off-the-wall-crazy-crap I’ve ever decided to do.

A 10 day body cleanse.

WHAT? WHY? I ALREADY REGRET IT. Seriously. I don’t even want to do it anymore.

But tomorrow, in my mailbox is going to come the cleanse from AdvoCare.

You know how you hear about something and then you search the internet for all of the reasons not to do it? And then you find some before and after pictures that are unbelievable and you’re all “Yeah, cool Photoshop job, yo.”

Check out this photo of some results after doing a 24-day cleanse on AdvoCare:


Chick went from a size 10 to a size 0. Dropped some serious pounds. Feels fantastic. Life is changed. 

If this crap is true, then I want in. All the way. But can you believe any of this?


That photo up there is of the only person I probably trust as much as my parents and myself. My twin. The other half of my cousin-bff-born on the same day-heart.

Here, have another photo. This one features me in my younger years:

Me=Left. I still sleep like that. Truth.



Yeah, so. Teri made the decision to try AdvoCare a little over a month ago and has had stunning results.

For the duration of the 24 days, I knew she was cleansing, but not really the deets. When she was done, she told me that she was feeling really good. I was mildly interested, so I asked some questions. Before I knew it I was agreeing to do a cleanse.

I feel the need to be blatantly clear right now. I know I seem pretty indifferent throughout this entire post. However, I am very protective over what goes into my body, especially with my obsession with mental health. 

I know the benefits. Doctor endorsed. Drew Brees endorsed. Major League Soccer endorsed. Teri endorsed.

I know the risks, because I mean, she’s honest and I can read. This doesn’t work for everyone. You have to commit and do the program or it won’t work. She can’t control how my body is going to react to the cleanse or going into a more permanent supplement plan with AdvoCare. But all I can do is try.

I know this is giving like, zero information and isn’t really selling the cleanse. But my job isn’t to sell it. I kind of want it that way for now. As much as I love Teri with my entire being and heart, I need to make sure it works for me before I can preach it.

For the next 10 days, starting Wednesday, I’m going to be ridding my hot bod from all of the toxins inside and prepping it to actually be able to get the nutrients that it needs. Who knows if its going to work for me. All I know is that something is off with my body, and not getting the right nutrients could be it.

I’m tired of being stuck. So here goes nothing.

When I rip into my box tomorrow, I’m going to call Teri and have her explain everything in it to me. Again.  I’ll be blogging and tweeting my results and good moods and crappy moods and stuff. Because accountability.