Updates, Other Stuff + Something I really need to tell you about

Hi, Internet. You look great today.

So, things have been pretty busy with me. I’ve accepted that my most creative time is between 9PM and 3AM, so guess when I work? You guessed it — overnight. Actually, I work from about 9AM-3PM, take a nap from 4PM-8PM, work from 9PM-3AM and nap from 4AM-8AM. I still get my 8 hours of sleep, I put my 12 hours in. It’s a lot. But it’s what you do when you’re deciding what your next career move is, yeah? Yeah.

I don’t have a whole lot of note to mention, so let’s go with three things I’m looking forward to this week, and then something ridiculously amazing that I want to tell you about, guys.

This Week:

  • I placed an order with my cousin who does #Advocare. Remember when I did the 10-day cleanse a month or so ago? That was pretty okay. I’ll do that again in a few months. I’ve been struggling with finding the right supplements to be on that don’t make me feel like shit, so I’m giving another “no pharmaceutical chemicals approach”a try . You might remember that I tried this a few years back and had decent success. So after talking to my cousin for several hours on the phone,  weighing the pros and cons, and doing a ridiculous amount of research into supplements that are out there, I ordered some stuff. I’m going to try it before I tell you about it. You know, I’m trusty like that.
  • I’m going on a date tomorrow night with a dear old friend. I wrote a blog post about him years ago, but I can’t seem to find it. (Update: I FOUND IT) Long story short, he’s always been one of my favorite people, especially through high school. I’m looking forward to catching up, hugging his face off, and eating all the cheese and duck salad that I can handle.
  • The MS Walk is this weekend. I haven’t been gung-ho about getting donations this year because life and all. But if you care to donate to the lovely cause, you are more than welcome.  I mean, if you are in the area and you want to come and walk with your friend Katie Colihan. I WOULD LOVE THAT TOO.
Oh, and here’s the thing I want to tell all ya’ll about. Gather ’round. Gather ’round.

When one of the lovely women of the internet, Mikael posted that she had found a new calling, I rushed immediately to read her post. I’m truly in love with reading about people taking on new passion-projects. As I read through her explaining how she believes that we all have more than one calling, I was nodding my head in agreement along with her. I recommend you read her post on your own, but I am going to spoil it a bit. Her new calling is doing Tarot Card reading. I’m sure some of you are navigating away from the page, totally cool. But hear me out.

I’ve been to a psychic twice.

One told me I was going to marry someone with the initial “D”. I’ve never even dated someone with the initial D. So, that went really well.

Another tried to get me to pay $150 to clean my dirty aura. So, that also went well.

This was nothing like either of those experiences.

There was something different about the vibe that Mikael gave off, just in her post though. She was giving away a few free Tarot readings in order for her to get some practice in, and of course I was going to help her in any way that I could. In true Katie form, I almost wanted it not to work (Sorry, Mikael!) so that I could prove my theory right — there isn’t a connection to the spiritual world here on Earth.

I won’t preach to you — it’s not my style — but when I say that Mikael’s reading was insanely life changing, it was insanely life changing. She didn’t predict my future. She didn’t say “You’re going to marry someone with the initial D”. She DID say that I’ve already encountered or will encounter someone “who’s warm, generous and refined–a true gentleman.”  She also said that my romantic card jumped out at her, which she didn’t expect at all. With the question that I asked her, she assumed it was going to be about self-love. This intrigued me in ways that I won’t talk about right now because I’m all about that privacy now. (You could maybe email me and ask, but I’d probably turn it around, avoid the question,  and ask about you. Let’s be serious.)

The part that got me was that Mikael and I — we’re cool. We don’t e-mail or have phone dates at all. But we’ll have a quick Twitter exchange and I know she’s a part of my support squad, and I hope she knows I’m part of hers. So she doesn’t know an intense amount about me, especially since I don’t blog as candidly anymore. But the things she said were like she knew…stuff. Stuff that I haven’t shared with the internet. Stuff that legit had me crying ugly cries. It was a truly magical experience that has changed the entire way that I live my life.

I don’t know much. But what I do know is that Mikael has this talent with Tarot. Her calling? It’s a true one. I believe she has a handful of free sessions left, if you want to try her out. HIGHLY RECOMMEND WITH ALL OF MY HAPPY LITTLE SOUL.

 

Remembering The Why

 

So.Hi.

I don’t think the cleanse cured my funk, but it did bring to light how much what I put into my body affects my mood. Even after the 10 days of required raw eating, I decided to try and keep a 80% green 20% lean mean diet, and I’ve stuck to that mostly with a few bites of a friend’s burger here and there. I opt for salmon over beef, I have at least two vegetables with every meal. I still haven’t had even one soda. Not even a sip. I’ve had pancakes once, and it was a miserable experience.  I learned a lot about food, and what to look for on packages and what’s good for you.

I did realize that over the last few days I was in a foul mood. I was just miserable. Typical Katie would just be miserable and wait for it to pass. This in-transition Katie asked “Why the hell am I in this bad mood and what can make it stop?”

I had no idea what it could be, so I went back over my diet tracker that I use just as a way to calculate calories, and realized that I hadn’t tracked my food in several days. I know I had eaten according to plan because my house doesn’t have anything unhealthy in it. I didn’t know if it was because I was feeling messy since I hadn’t tracked my food, or what, and then it hit me. I wasn’t getting enough water. For the last two days, I’ve gotten over 120 oz of water in me each day and my mood has elevated slightly. We all know I’m naturally lower in the mood realm, but I had no idea that I was so dehydrated. I also suspect that I missed some meals, so my body was probably pissed off at me too. So I’ve been trying to stick to eating every two hours, doing one meal replacement bar per day,, and downing my water. So far, so good.

Something I’ve been struggling with recently is staying focused during my work day. I’m doing my own thing again so I have to have a lot of self discipline. I work best alone, with music on and zero distraction. But times I get really unfocused and end up having to stay up much later than necessary. While the nature of the projects that I have do require me to pull a few late nights, I wonder how much of that could be slashed in half if I just focus more. Again, Typical Katie would have just continued to work as late as it took, put things off that she could, and would wait for things to get better. In transition Katie asked “Why”

And then I had a breakthrough.

Throughout any given day, I’ll lose focus of why I’m doing something and that’s the exact point where I give up doing it or let some of the passion out of my balloon, get lazy, etc.

  • I’m eating healthy, not drinking diet soda, and working out —WHY?

Because I like the way I feel when I’m healthy. 

  • I’m choosing to release certain people from my life.–WHY?

Because they bring me down rather than raise me up. I want to feel inspired.

  • I’m writing a 10,000 page e-book on something I’m not passionate about.–WHY?

Because this is what I need to do to make ends meet right now. I want to feel secure.

  • I’m picking up side jobs for much less money than I would usually charge.–WHY?

Because I have a vacation in October that I am so desperately craving that I can’t even stand it. Every dollar saved beyond the bills that I pay goes into my vacation fund. I want to feel excited and carefree when I go on vacation.

 So, in order to remind myself of why I’m sitting at my desk for 16 hours a day, I have a photo of the sunset in Indian Rocks Beach, where I’ll be in just over 6 months. It keeps me going. It keeps me focused. It literally shows me the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

This is the point in my life where I strip down to the bare bones and rebuild.

(I even changed all of my profile photos to a completely bare faced picture of me from last night to show the world. This is me. Right now. Bare. Vulnerable. In the trenches. Fighting the battle. Moving forward. Actually, a little hopeful.)

I’ve had a rough few years, but I’m ready to stop hovering so close to the bottom so that the next fall doesn’t hurt so bad. I want to rise higher because  I can rise higher. The risk of being that high, content, happy is worth the fall. And honestly, the people that I have met and reconnected with so far on the way back up have been absolutely fantastic, so I know that any fall won’t be as bad with the support.

I think I’m not stuck anymore. I’m finally pulling myself out of the sludge and while it’s hard sometimes, It’s worth it. So worth it.

 

 

Being Stuck + The Decision To Do Something About It

Ugh, yo.

I’ve been hit with a mess of crap over the last year and a half. As everything starts to settle, something else happens. The highs and lows of life man. Brutal.

As things start to (hopefully) settle for me again and I sort through all the things, I’ve started to notice that I feel kind of…off. I’ve been struggling a bit with my gloomy-moods. The approach I’ve been taking is to just let them pass, and then wait for the next one. It’s worked alright for a while.. the whole “fake it until you make it” approach. But let me get real… I’m kind of tired of constantly waiting for the next wave to hit without making any forward progress.

It’s like…treading water, almost.

While some aspects of my life are precisely how I want them, others are just…off, somehow. I don’t know.

But I do know that I feel not good more often than I feel good.

That’s all I really intended to say. I’ve had this post basically saved in drafts for a few weeks. I just couldn’t work up the energy to post it. It’s been like THAT. I probably also didn’t want to fess up to the fact that maybe everything isn’t okay. I mean… it’s fine. But not great. I’m used to not being great, so it’s nothing new. I don’t mean that to sound so emotional and negative, I’m just used to being kind of base-line content. Not joyful. Not overwhelmingly happy. Just…meh. Fine.

The one thing I’ve become really good at is getting stuck. It’s great that I can recognize that I’m stuck in place right now. It’s cool to be in a holding pattern. I know that. But it’s not so good that I’ve just come to accept it and not DO anything about it.

***

To know me is to know the following:

  • I love food. Especially pancakes. And steak. And cheese. And carbs. Just food, really. If it goes into my mouth, I heart it.
  • I don’t like working out, I only do it because I like to eat.
  • I don’t care about numbers on a scale, so long as I feel good.
  • I won’t write something unless I mean it.

For the last few months, I’ve been quietly stalking some friends and internet people who are eating clean and saying they feel “So great!” I find it hard to beleive that eating differently can make a difference in your life. I feel really, REALLY happy after eating a big-booty plate of pancakes. I mean, have you SEEN me eat pancakes? Bliss. I don’t think that’s clean eating. But it’s good eating.

However.

I’m doing to most off-the-wall-crazy-crap I’ve ever decided to do.

A 10 day body cleanse.

WHAT? WHY? I ALREADY REGRET IT. Seriously. I don’t even want to do it anymore.

But tomorrow, in my mailbox is going to come the cleanse from AdvoCare.

You know how you hear about something and then you search the internet for all of the reasons not to do it? And then you find some before and after pictures that are unbelievable and you’re all “Yeah, cool Photoshop job, yo.”

Check out this photo of some results after doing a 24-day cleanse on AdvoCare:

 

Chick went from a size 10 to a size 0. Dropped some serious pounds. Feels fantastic. Life is changed. 

If this crap is true, then I want in. All the way. But can you believe any of this?

PLOT TWIST.

That photo up there is of the only person I probably trust as much as my parents and myself. My twin. The other half of my cousin-bff-born on the same day-heart.

Here, have another photo. This one features me in my younger years:

Me=Left. I still sleep like that. Truth.

 

 

Yeah, so. Teri made the decision to try AdvoCare a little over a month ago and has had stunning results.

For the duration of the 24 days, I knew she was cleansing, but not really the deets. When she was done, she told me that she was feeling really good. I was mildly interested, so I asked some questions. Before I knew it I was agreeing to do a cleanse.

I feel the need to be blatantly clear right now. I know I seem pretty indifferent throughout this entire post. However, I am very protective over what goes into my body, especially with my obsession with mental health. 

I know the benefits. Doctor endorsed. Drew Brees endorsed. Major League Soccer endorsed. Teri endorsed.

I know the risks, because I mean, she’s honest and I can read. This doesn’t work for everyone. You have to commit and do the program or it won’t work. She can’t control how my body is going to react to the cleanse or going into a more permanent supplement plan with AdvoCare. But all I can do is try.

I know this is giving like, zero information and isn’t really selling the cleanse. But my job isn’t to sell it. I kind of want it that way for now. As much as I love Teri with my entire being and heart, I need to make sure it works for me before I can preach it.

For the next 10 days, starting Wednesday, I’m going to be ridding my hot bod from all of the toxins inside and prepping it to actually be able to get the nutrients that it needs. Who knows if its going to work for me. All I know is that something is off with my body, and not getting the right nutrients could be it.

I’m tired of being stuck. So here goes nothing.

When I rip into my box tomorrow, I’m going to call Teri and have her explain everything in it to me. Again.  I’ll be blogging and tweeting my results and good moods and crappy moods and stuff. Because accountability.

SORRY IF I DON’T SOUND MORE EXCITED BUT THIS IS REAL LIFE.