The internet is erupting with awesome right now as the masses flock to YouTube and post the most magnificent VEDA videos. For those of you who don’t know (WHAT?), VEDA is “Vlog Everyday in August”. Vlog=video blog. Basically VEDA is 1/2 making videos and 1/2 watching and commenting and connecting with other videos/bloggers.
This year is the first year I haven’t attempted VEDA in some capacity. Part of me is ALL THE SAD because I do love reconnecting to all of you, sharing my freakish little quirks and enjoying when people say A) Oh! Me too! or B) You’re a freak, Katie. But we love you. I get little goosebumps knowing that we all share this THING where we just…get each other. We can be ourselves; as loud (or quiet) and proud (or fearful) as we are, and it’s perfectly okay.
Man, I’m not even doing VEDA and it’s still magical.
There’s another part of me that is relieved. As fun as VEDA is each year, it is a definite commitment. It’s not that I don’t want to rush home at the end of my day and talk to your lovely faces, but I’m not in a position in my life right now where that’s feasible. Doesn’t mean I love you guys any less. Just means I’m focusing on myself more.
As 2013 progresses on, the overwhelming theme I’ve seen is the universe presenting me with situations that I really don’t like. Whether professional, personal, or actual relationships, I’ve seen my share of occurrences that make me think “Yeah, no, I don’t like this.” Typical Katie-like approach is to hang in there and fake it until I make it.
That crap isn’t cutting it anymore.
I’ve seemingly gone through this major shift in the last 6 months or so. Where I’d once put up with major bullshit in the name of “staying true to others”, I’ve come to realize the importance that I play in making decisions. Like, totally responsible for how I’m feeling in any given moment. All of my decisions up to this very point are key contributors to how I feel. There’s no way to change decisions I’ve already made (duh.) but I can surely take more of a conscious role in making choices from here on out. Then, I can reap the benefits of these choices down the road.
I don’t know if it’s becoming an adult, or just becoming more who I want to be, but either way, I feel different. There have been instances in the last month alone in which I’ve had to swallow my pride and ask difficult questions. I’ve had to ask for help (which I hate). I’ve chosen to say goodbye. I’ve welcomed new people into my life. I’ve asked others to stay. I’ve let people go who have taught me all that they’re going to. Just as people enter our lives for a reason, they leave for a reason too- usually to make room for the next big thing.
So there’s that.
In Other News:
I celebrated my 4th Lifeaversary last week, and for the first time ever, I didn’t do a dedication post. I had one planned, drafted even, but it never got published. WOMP. Instead, I spent the day with some of the most important people to me. I didn’t get crazy. We sat around a lovely pool and laughed. Ate some. It was a really good day. And that was enough. The post may end up being posted. It might not. Probably will, you know me, guys.
WANT SOME CAKE? Actually it’s gone. But you can drool:
Thanks to my wonderful bestie Vanessa for providing this OMG SO GOOD cake.
Life is sweet, yeah?
They say you love someone when you’re willing to be there through thick and thin — when it gets tough, you’re still there. That’s how I feel about life. And my friends. And other special people in my life.
Anyway you cut it. Life is hard, but oh, so worth it.