I have 36 inches of snow outside. I really just made that figure up, but it’s somewhat accurate. Since I’m living back home, I don’t have awesome landlords to shovel for me. Also since I’m living at home with my senior citizen father, he’s not going to shovel. Dude won’t shovel but he’ll move my bedroom around without telling me so that I end up falling on the floor when I stumble in the house at 3 AM after a night out with my gay friends.
But he won’t shovel snow because he’s “too tired.”
So, today, in an exhausted haze, I decided that I needed to shovel us out of the driveway. I didn’t grab a jacket because I had a fleece zip up on. (c/o Old Navy. Love you long time). Outside I went and started attacking the mountain sized piles of snow.
My neighbors… I can take or leave them. Today, I wanted to leave them since they all shoveled EXACTLY on their property line, and didn’t even put a nick in mine. However, their pile of snow? On the property line, so I had to go ahead and shovel that crap out of the way or else I’d be fined something like a million dollars from my borough.
Fine. I dealt with it.
After about twenty minutes of shoveling, I got pretty hot. Moving your hands back and forth, over your shoulder, back and forth gets exhausting. (twss). So, I decided to take off my fleece. In one easy motion, I unzipped the fleece, took it off, and threw it over my shoulder. I continued shoveling. It only took one more fling of the shovel for me to realize that I was feeling a little colder than I’d like to.
BECAUSE I WASNT WEARING A SHIRT. I WAS TOPLESS.
…I’d love to go into more detail, but most of the following events are clouded by the fact that I was running inside and I fell into a pile of snow. The mailman was on his way to my house with the mail and rushed over to help me and I made myself a snow bra.
This is why I shouldn’t be allowed out of my house.
Any other crazy snow stories out there?
Please say yes,
please say yes,
please say yes.
